Sunday, January 13, 2013

Hashing It Through With You

Little A brought me a prayer card off the fridge.  “Mama, are these our friends”?  I glanced at Brett and Liv’s photo and exclaimed, “Yes, they are going to be missionaries and we get to go stay with them in Colorado!”

She looked at me confused. I explained we leave on Sunday for 5 weeks at MTI.  Her eyes glazed over and she walked away.

Traveling has made this season of life full. The Littles have been troopers and God has used your prayers to make our paths smooth and for them to transition well. It has also left them really confused.

There’s a reality here that describes our life in the future.

I heard the following joke:

“A man arrived in heaven and saw a boisterous group of people, laughing, joyfully crying and repeatedly hugging. He asked, “What’s up with them?” He was told, “Oh, those are the missionaries, they are just so joyful to never have to say goodbyes again.”

I smiled a little but my insides were twisted in knots. I have confessed here before that I am really bad at saying goodbyes. 

Leaving Magdalena 5 years ago was excruciating.

Last Sunday 034 

Thinking of my kiddos saying goodbyes? Puke.

So, here is my paradox of emotion

When I think to the future, I am usually a bit overwhelmed but it is accompanied by two other feelings. 1) Deep sadness at the loss of life as we know it/grief over leaving our family and friends in the USA and 2)Bubbling joy at moving forward into what God has set in front of us, into doing life in Ethiopia, serving the Awi.

While visions of the airport on that day in May pierce my soul with grief, visions of living, learning, being, trusting our God and just doing life in Ethiopia, brings abundant joy.

Ethiopia-Canon Rebel 409 

A friend challenged me that instead of focusing on what I am leaving/losing my focus needs to be on what I am gaining.

It’s really helped.

His Grace is sufficient. Here. There. Everywhere.

5 comments:

Matt and Kristi said...

Oh Amy, we are right there with you. We are feeling the same things and trying to process it all. Love from us to you.

smw said...

hmm. that's good advice for many things. i'll have to focus on that. :)

Sarah said...

Love how you express yourself so we all get a little glimpse of what you and other missionaries are going through. Thanks for sharing.

Rachel said...

Thank you for this post, Amy. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!!

Heidi said...

He has choose you his sweet great child! feel honored you are his warrior going to help his people! Wherever we are ...there is a battle to be fought.. even if it's the place we last expected to be! Let God help your mind fix on the good things ahead! Praying for you!