As The Dust Settles

Last night as Jon and I talked, I realized how I have been in a season of thankfulness. Not because I am such the grateful person but because God has brought me out of the dark place where I have been the past few years.

Last February was when I began to beg the Lord to restore my joy, and He has.

Since getting home from SIMGo, it has been a whirlwind. To debrief a bit about our training, I am overcome by feelings of…thankfulness. I don’t know how to express this in a way that doesn’t sound cliché or simplistic.

While at SIMGo, we covered classes over a myriad of topics, ranging from orality and the Gospel, computer encryption, saying goodbyes, working successfully in international teams and child safety.

Every day, we spent time with SIM Home staff who have spent years on the field and are now using their gifts to serve as senders. We prayed together, laughed and gleaned wisdom from them. There is something so encouraging about hearing their stories of God’s faithfulness. After the day wrapped up, we would walk back from the dining room, play with The Littles and then talk late into the night with other families.

My low point came when sitting in the “safety seminar”. Sitting in this session, fear reared it’s ugly head. As I listened through hypothetical situations, I thought of how I would handle it but then I envisioned going through these motions while keeping two kids safe. Panic rose in my heart and as soon as class was over, the tears overflowed. I replayed a scene in my mind in which I stood on the street, fighting to hold on to The Littles’ hands against an assailant.

I was frustrated and felt guilty that my fear was back. Receiving encouragement to let the words of scripture rush over me and let my soul worship, I was reminded of God’s faithfulness in a million, billion ways. I found this little picture recently and my heart sings at what God has done.

How a year ago at this time, we had just returned from an exploratory trip to Ethiopia and we didn’t know what the future held, but I didn’t want a single part of moving my family across the ocean.

 

And I realize that over the past year, not only has God restored my joy, but at SIMGo and since, I am excited. Not excited about getting on the plane and leaving friends and family, but so excited for being in Ethiopia, ministering there, even homeschooling!

God is good.