As The Littles are really stretching their wings and facing things like sharing with sister, obeying Mommy, etc, we have had some obstacles to overcome.
I hesitate to write the following paragraphs because I know some of the readers will completely disagree. I could write posts and posts on attachment, but it can sound kind of crazy. So, I will limit myself to this. :) Something that has been working for us and things we are noticing, not saying this is what every parent should or must do…
Before we completed our adoption, we read about how children from traumatic pasts often need to be parented using a different approach. One example was a “time-in” instead of a “Time-Out”. This is especially important with children who battle abandonment issues and insecurities.
It is basically the same thing, but instead of me sending The Littles away from me or off to a corner or crib (which I feel like doing), I set them near or even beside me until they calm down. (With kiddos as young as The Littles, it takes about 10 seconds-1 minute to calm down). The premise behind this being that if when they are being rotten, if I would send them away, it could seem to their little hearts (that oft freak out about being left/abandoned by Mama/Daddy) that I only want them when they are “good”.
As with all parenting, it is a constant learning curve and we cry out to the Lord daily for wisdom!
An EXCITING Seminar is coming to Fort Wayne, designed for:
-Parents of Adopted Children
-Professionals working with children
“Mom, Can I Blow Up My Brother?”
Understanding and communicating with the wounded child
Emotionally Focused Therapy
A seminar hosted by:
Megan Spinks, LCSW, ACSW
Patty Jewell, LCSW
Guest Speaker: Robert Spottswood, M.A. LCMHC
April 16th, 2011 9am-3pm, $15, lunch included
General Overview of the Seminar: “Today’s families face many challenges. For adoptive families, these challenges may look different. One of the most difficult skills for adoptive parents, foster parents, caretakers and child professionals is understanding and responding to the real emotional issues which drive and support disruptive behavior. How does aggression, defiance, avoidance, and lying come to be safely understood? How do you come to set the behavior aside to understand the emotional need beneath it? How do you come to understand the emotional needs/hurts driving the behavior?…This seminar will allow for parents and caregivers to understand why rewards, lectures, and predictable consequences will not meet the emotional needs behind the behavior.”
Interested? Get in contact with me regarding details or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or call her at 260-459-0990.
We are so excited for this day to gain more wisdom and insight.