Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Building Trust

God is so amazing. Do you know that He created a child so intricately that the baby starts bonding with Mama upon conception?  Baby learns her sounds, smells, heartbeat and emotions.

When a child is separated from their mother, even if it is upon their moment of entering the world, there is a loss and a trauma.  It registers with impacts for different children. 

There is a helpful, little chart that I have grabbed from Dr. Karyn Purvis in “The Connected Child”.  The Trust Cycle looks something like this (concept is the same, chart is totally different due to my lack of techy skills).

Child expresses need+Parent meets need=Trust is built

Isn’t that great?  Every time an infant gets a diaper changed, burped, covered with a blanket, held, talked to, etc, it is actually building trust from that child with their caregiver.  They learn, “I express a need and it is met”.

In a conference with Michael and Amy Monroe from “Empowered to Connect” they estimate that within a child’s first year of life, there are approximately 100,000 opportunities for trust to be established, for a “yes” to be given.  Yes-I will meet your needs, yes-you are a precious individual who is very loved, yes-you can trust.

Children who have been neglected, abused, switched from multiple caretakers or not given many “yesses” often are children that have difficulty attaching and feeling secure even when they are put in a stable, loving situation because of their past in a hard place.

Adoption is based in loss, particularly for the adopted child.  We serve a God who heals and redeems any painful situation.

I don’t really have a strong point to make, just thought it’s too interesting not to share. :)

And just so the post isn’t pictureless…

Man Up 243


MamaMimi said...

Thank you! I am sharing this just so that more people are aware that it doesn't matter what AGE children are adopted....there is loss and pain as a result.

P.S. Your girls are STUNNING!!!

Kristi said...

great explanation, Amy! Thanks!

Rachel said...

hi! read your blog off of jill mccormick's list. thanks for sharing this great information - by the looks of all your wonderful family pictures and posts - it looks like you and your husband are blessed with attaching very well to your gorgeous daughters! praise God!

Anonymous said...

thanks for posting this. Our baby Silas has had some attachment challenges over the past 5 months that are truly due to the lack of a family for the first year of his little life. It's hard because, I didn't 'make him like this', and I can't completely 'fix' it. But we serve a God who is The Healer. Thanks for the encouragement. :)