God is so amazing. Do you know that He created a child so intricately that the baby starts bonding with Mama upon conception? Baby learns her sounds, smells, heartbeat and emotions.
When a child is separated from their mother, even if it is upon their moment of entering the world, there is a loss and a trauma. It registers with impacts for different children.
There is a helpful, little chart that I have grabbed from Dr. Karyn Purvis in “The Connected Child”. The Trust Cycle looks something like this (concept is the same, chart is totally different due to my lack of techy skills).
Child expresses need+Parent meets need=Trust is built
Isn’t that great? Every time an infant gets a diaper changed, burped, covered with a blanket, held, talked to, etc, it is actually building trust from that child with their caregiver. They learn, “I express a need and it is met”.
In a conference with Michael and Amy Monroe from “Empowered to Connect” they estimate that within a child’s first year of life, there are approximately 100,000 opportunities for trust to be established, for a “yes” to be given. Yes-I will meet your needs, yes-you are a precious individual who is very loved, yes-you can trust.
Children who have been neglected, abused, switched from multiple caretakers or not given many “yesses” often are children that have difficulty attaching and feeling secure even when they are put in a stable, loving situation because of their past in a hard place.
Adoption is based in loss, particularly for the adopted child. We serve a God who heals and redeems any painful situation.
I don’t really have a strong point to make, just thought it’s too interesting not to share. :)
And just so the post isn’t pictureless…