The ache is back.
The Littles rock the world of pretend play. While stirring food on the stove, I listened in as they played and their voices wafted into the kitchen.
“We don’t have a mama and and daddy. Waa, nobody wants us, nobody loves us.” They pretended they were orphans. Immediately stooping down, I asked, “Can I be your Mama?, I love you. Can Daddy by your daddy, forever?”
They smiled, melted into my arms and said, “You will be my Mama”.
My mind is full of thoughts of the future, things we are learning, where we are heading and in the midst of it, the sorrow of the orphan that burdens me has grown silent. My brain can only handle so many things and when I allow myself to walk down the road of thinking of orphans, imagining my Littles being in an orphanage or worse, on the street, or worst of all, in slavery, my heart literally cannot bear it.
Hugging Little J, I envisioned her, now, having her “Gotcha Day” and my heart was flooded with ache at the pain she would feel, her insecurity, her fear at crossing the ocean with strangers and leaving EVERYTHING she knows.
I had strong yearning for future children, to spare them from the ouch, to wrap them in my arms and say, “I am so sorry for the long roads your little legs have walked. Can I be your forever Mama? Will you share your grief with our family and we together beg God for healing of your little heart?”
God sets the lonely in families, whether that is through prevention programs that enable birth moms to have the resources to keep their children or not die from preventable causes, grandparents who scoop up their grandchildren and go through parenting all over again, homes where children are placed while staying in their home culture, foster parents selflessly pouring themselves out, broken-hearted time after time after a child is moved and adoption, where an orphan becomes a son or daughter.
We rejoice for each life that is told in some way, “I love you. You are worth it.”
Friends from church, Jarod and Molly, are adopting from Colombia and God can use us to carry out His plan of setting the lonely in families.
Yay, yay, yay a giveaway!
A great giveaway is going on over Emily’s blog for the adoption of her niece/nephew. Some really incredible items have been donated by Molly’s sisters.
You can donate at this site and enter the drawing.
Go to this post to see how you can be a part.
5 comments:
What a moving post. Thanks Amy!!
“I am so sorry for the long roads your little legs have walked." Simply powerful words. Praying for contiuned grace as you do hard things with intent to glorify Him.
tears. thanks for sharing your heart!
This brought me to tears as well this morning. Thanks for the link for the giveaway.
Words that brought tears this morning. We ave even reflecting in the journeys of our children as well and still see the pain in their little hearts. We know our daughter will ask the hard questions sooner or later, just hoping for God's assistance in finding the words to sooth her heart.
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