Friday, February 11, 2011

Please Help Us Solve Our Marital Dispute :)

Jon and I were just hashing and hashing about something.  We both think we are being really logical.  We agreed we should turn it over to our dear readers. Whatever you decide, we will live by.  We even shook on it. 

Here is the dilemma.  February holds Valentine’s Day and our anniversary.  Early March is my birthday.  So, throw in Christmas in late December and in nearly a three month span all my “special” days are used up.  (Yes, I am talking about receiving surprises, but also just fun days spent with family, etc). Now, I am also pretty tight with money, so getting gifts is oh-so-fun.  Jon and the girls’ birthdays are in late fall.  That leaves a long, fiesta-less stretch and I am all about something to plan and anticipate…

Amy’s Proposal: “Hey Jonny, let’s just not celebrate my birthday in March and instead celebrate it the same day in June!”

cake403

Amy’s rationale: It will spread out the fun, instead of containing it all so tightly. I am not expecting anything on my March birthday. No dinner, no gifts but he should still say, “Happy Birthday”.  I am not just saying it. I mean it. We will just move my special day to June.

Jon’s rationale: Basically, I don’t want to be the one of the people that only says “Happy Birthday” and nothing else on the day we commemorate Amy’s birth!  Also, what makes a birthday so special is that the whole world…or at least everyone Amy knows, makes her feel special or goes out of their way to do something fun. You can’t duplicate the specialness on an off the date day.  On top of it all, when parents, grandparents, etc are suggesting ideas for Amy and giving gifts, I will feel like a heel to have not done anything more than say “Happy Birthday”. Oh and when people ask what I got Amy for her birthday, she will feel sad if she says “nothing, we are waiting to celebrate it for a few months”.  And (I am secretly scared that despite what Amy is saying, she does want something more special on her birthday than just a verbal “Happy Birthday”).  So I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place.  Do we just make two days “Amy’s Birthday”???

man-in-the-dog-house

Help!  Cast Your Vote In The Sidebar! :)

19 comments:

Todd ~ Teresa said...

Well..... we're with Jon. It's just not the same to wait 3 months to do something special for a birthday. Here's our idea: How about you do a half year anniversary in August?

Carissa J. said...

Why not celebrate your anniversary by 1/2 years instead of only in Feb? Or your could move Valentine's Day to June. :) I am not sure what to say about your birthday... But we are looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks!! :)

Ashley Baner said...

Instead of moving your bday, just make up something to celebrate in June anyway. BUT, you would be sad to not have a birthday. It's not like we don't do laundry and cook lunch and have all the routine anyway and our bdays!! It's not all that special once you have kiddos. Celebrate your bday low key and then make up some crazy tradition for June that you can look forward to. We never do anything big for any special day but honestly it is the small things that are really special anyway! I will always remember that my mom made heart shaped jello with raspberries! YUM! Small tradition but it was special. I can't recall anything else and I am sure she painstakingly wrote Valentine's and bought us candy and who knows what else. I think tradition always wins out!! :)

Mindy said...

Sorry Ames, I'm going with Jon on this one!

What if you celebrate your bday on the day and Jon or family's gifts to you could be for things you could use/do later in the year when you need a pick me up? Examples would be restaurant gift cards, money to go to the spa, or homemade coupons - like weekend away in the summer, date night of your choice, day away for shopping, etc. Then you can use it in the summer when you want to celebrate.

OR pray really hard that your new child will have a summer birthday. :) Can you specify that in your parameters?! haha!

bethany said...

i have to agree with jon this time...amy, you have a great/logical idea, but i'm afraid you're birthday just won't feel the same as it will in march.

Laura L. said...

I wouldn't "move" your birthday. Ditch Valentine's Day and find a special day in June/July to celebrate instead.

Holli said...

I have thought of this too.:) Andy birthday in Nov, mine in Dec and our Anniversary on 31...throw in Christmas and New Years and well it is pretty anticlimactic. But I still say stick to your day or I think it might be REALLY anticlimactic.
Sorry wish I could side with you! but have to go with Jon. :)

David and Larisa said...

My nephew Luke did this one year - so that he could have a summer birthday like all of his cousins, so that it would actually be warm on his birthday for once, and so that he could celebrate it with his cousin Clint (who actually has a June birthay.) But seriously, moving your birthday will just feel awkward to all the people who love you and want to celebrate your arrival into this life! There are SO many other reasons to have a "special" day every single month - you just need to find those reasons and plan a tradition of celebrating those too...or at least find one in June! (Of course, I admit that I DO have a June birthday and quite like it that way!) :-)
Larisa

Wells L said...

You were born on the day that God wanted you to arrive in this world - you can't just change that. I think you should celebrate your special days when they are suppose to be. There's always mother's day in May which can be special for you. If you want an additional day of celebration, perhaps your family should create it's own holiday (I work with a nurse whose family celebrates the "First Snow" - they have rules about what makes it the first snow and the gifts are fun winter type things like gloves or soft sweater or something). Maybe you all could celebrate the "First Mow". You can pick a day - claim it as a new annual family holiday - and then create a new family tradition on how that day is celebrated. Sounds kind of fun - maybe we'll do that too. I know what you're feeling . . . we have Christmas and then our anniversary is on New Year's Day, then Valentine's day, 2 weeks later is my husbands birthday and then in April is my birthday. We're not parents so that concludes our "festivities" for the rest of the year. Good luck - can't wait to hear what you decide.

L, An and boys said...

I'm all about celebrating things on the actual day. I think you should have a super fun Summer celebration with outdoor activities and grilling that becomes a tradition. Have someone come clean for you so it's not stressful/more work than a celebration. You could exchange a small gift between you and Jon just for fun.

An

Kristen said...

I'm voting with Jon. Essentially, you would have 2 birthdays b/c the rest of the world would still celebrate in March. And, you know you would want to make the June day more than just Jon saying Happy Birthday. :) Sorry, Ames. I definitely like the idea of having your Valentine's Day in the summer. There is so much more you can do then anyway, like an outdoor picnic or concert and restaurant reservations will be much easier to come by. YOu could maybe even use one of your birthday gift cards as an earlier commenter suggested. ;)

Sheila said...

Sorry Amy, but I have to go with Jon on this one as well (and we are in the same boat with anniversary in Sept, my bday in Oct, hubby bday in Nov, and then Christmas). But I have to say that your logic sounds so much like mine! Your birthday is such a special day in God's plan for you, changing it would take away the specialness in my opinion. Celebrate Mother's day in May and you can even make the 4th of July a special holiday for your family. Or, I like "First Mow" too! Made me giggle!!

Heather said...

Sorry Ames, but I too think I agree with Jon's logic here.. it's pretty hard to tell the world that you've moved your b-day I would think.. and don't you feel kind of attached to that day since it's when you've been celebrating your b-day all your life?!
Being the creative, fun person you are, I'm sure you could think of something to celebrate in those long 'off' months in between your special days, like "happy Monday, Amy wants to celebrate!" ;) ... and a random celebration is more fun than a 'scheduled' one, right?! :)

Sandra said...

I SO know how you feel. Christmas comes, then my birthday on the 5th of Jan, then our anniversary on the 7th of January and then Nick's birthday in Feb!! It stinks!!!
I think moving your birthday to June sounds sad cause it just won't be the same. Why don't you just find somethin fun to celebrate each year come the middle of summer...maybe go to a hotel for a weekend to celebrate "the two of you". Cause really thats cause for celebration!! Besides the fact that with children involved in a family, you need that alone time to spice up your marriage anyway. We can't take care of our kids if we don't take care of a husband/wife relationship so use that as your excuse for a summet weekend get away.

Kristi said...

Ok. I just skimmed every post... and they all seemed to side with Jon. Even though I think skipping your birthday would be really sad (I know how depressed I was when not a single person told me happy birthday several years ago...) I also know how sad it is to really feel strongly about something and have nobody on your side. SO. :) This post is for Amy. I'm voting with Amy.
Jon ~ on Amy's birthday ~ in every prayer mention how superbly thankful you are for her and how special that day is ... say happy birthday at least 12 times, preferably with a hug or a kiss on the cheek ... remind the kiddos a couple of times that its a super special day because thats the day that Father decided that Mommy should be born. All of this keeps the day special, but leaves the party for later. Then... six months later, plan a shindig!

Kelly said...

I agree with Jon....what about doing something special in May and June for Mother's Day and Father's Day? Or something fun for the whole family on 4th of July?

Carla said...

I agree with Jon. I would move Valentine's Day and in fact we did that once ourselves. We weren't able to celebrate on the day and Jeff was having fits. I told him not to let the calendar dictate when he shows his love for me. I actually said to him, "why can't we do it on Aug 23."(randomly picked date) On August 23 he gave me a card and had dinner reservations already made. It was quite nice.

Justin & Sarah said...

I like the idea of starting a family tradition in June (as mentioned above.) Some good friends of ours go to the Great Wolf Lodge every April for three days, and guess who they decided to include in their tradition? Us!! I am so excited to start a tradition like that, as the winter does get a bit dreary, and even in April we often get a snow flurry or two. :)

mamamargie said...

Voting with Jon and like the idea of making another fun day to celebrate for the interim. Make up a holiday. We've done it here and it's fun!